Safe Sleep Seven: Or How to Co-Sleep Without Totally Losing Sleep (or Your Mind)

Let’s face it, if you’re reading this in the middle of the night, while your baby is suctioned to your boob like a sleepy barnacle and your left arm has lost all circulation, then congratulations: you’ve entered the breastfeeding-and-bedsharing era, or as many now call it "breast-sleeping". Welcome. There’s no turning back now. You just want to sleep (safely), feed your baby (easily), and not feel like you're breaking some unspoken parenting rule.

Spoiler alert: You’re not. So many people end up bedsharing UNSAFELY because they tried so hard not to and never learned how to do it properly.

🛏 Meet the Cuddle Curl: Nature’s Built-In Mom-Baby Armor

Picture this: you’re curled on your side, baby nestled safely in front of you, knees drawn up, arm above their little head... so snuggly! This is the cuddle curl, and it's not just adorable - it’s instinctual and protective.

It’s how breastfeeding parents have been night-nursing since the dawn of time (or at least since the dawn of, “please don’t wake fully, just latch in your sleep, pleeease”).

Pro tip: Toss a bolster pillow behind your back and one between your knees so you don’t wake up feeling like you’ve done battle with a raccoon in your sleep. Support for your lumbar spine? Yes please.

But Wait — Isn’t Bedsharing Dangerous?

Ah yes, the classic fear: “If I fall asleep with my baby next to me, they won't wake up.”

Let’s debunk that one, shall we?

👉 Research shows that bedsharing - when done in the absence of known hazards - does not increase the risk of SIDS in breastfeeding infants. In fact, in the absence of hazards, it cuts the bedsharing sids cases by 90%! (Keeping in mind half of SIDS cases have been shown to be while baby is in a cot).

The keyword here is: absence of known hazards (aka: you’re not smoking, drinking, swaddling the baby in wool blankets on a memory foam 20 year old mattress).

In fact, forcing breastfeeding parents to separate feeding from sleep - by not educating on safe room-sharing or discouraging bedsharing - can actually:

• Cause early weaning

• Decrease milk supply

• Lead to unsafe, unplanned sleep setups (e.g. dozing off with baby on a recliner)

So, if you’re going to do it (and spoiler again: you probably already are), then let’s do it safely.

Introducing: The Safe Sleep Seven

Here’s your friendly, research-backed checklist for safe bedsharing. If you and your baby meet all seven criteria, your setup is considered low-risk for SIDS - and incredibly high-reward for getting some actual sleep and more successful breastfeeding.

✅ 1. Yourself and your partner(s) are non-smokers.

And not just now - but also during pregnancy. If you're smoke-free, you're off to a great start.

✅ 2. Yourself and your partner(s) are sober and unimpaired.

No alcohol, drugs, or medications that knock you out like a tranquilizer.

✅ 3. You’re breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding naturally helps regulate baby’s arousals, breathing, temperature, and sleep cycles. Plus, that cuddle curl? It’s kind of your new default position now.

✅ 4. Baby is full-term and healthy.

This guide is for typical-risk babies - not NICU babies. Preemies or babies with special needs = talk to your care team.

✅ 5. Baby is placed on their back to sleep.

Even in bedsharing, this still applies - supine is safest.

✅ 6. Baby is lightly dressed, not swaddled.

Skin-to-skin? Great. Onesie? Fine. Swaddled like a burrito in your bed? Nope. Mobility is key.

✅ 7. You’re on a safe sleep surface.

That means: firm mattress, no gaps, no fluffy pillows or duvets near baby. Think: less is more.

→Our bed was a little too squishy the first time around to safely cosleep, so we were lucky to have gotten a HALO bassinet to have baby as close as possible, and as safe as possible under our circumstances. It was absolutely AMAZING and came right onto the bed, but it was pricy. On a budget, instead consider a cute side car bassinet (with wheels!) to get the best of both worlds.

🧠 TL;DR: Bedsharing Isn’t Reckless - It’s Natural (When Done Right)

You’re not a bad parent for bringing your baby into bed - you’re a tired one, a loving one, and (clearly) an educated one now, too. Breastfeeding + bedsharing can be a lifeline, a milk supply saver, and frankly, a mental health saver - when you follow the Safe Sleep Seven.

✨ Where to Learn More

This isn’t just crunchy-mom folklore - the following organizations back up the benefits and safety of informed bedsharing:

• La Leche League

• Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine

• BASIS – Baby Sleep Info Source (UK)

• UNICEF’s Co-sleeping and SIDS Guide

Dive in, cuddle up, and rest easy. You’ve got this - and your baby has you, literally held.

Thanks for reading!

- Nicole

Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any health-related decisions.